Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Remembrance of the past


Well, the electricity was gone = no internet, and as I was just sitting idle, my eyes caught a big cotton bag lying inside my open closet. And I knew what I  had to do, and what was going to happen  next. So, I took out the bag, eagerly looked inside the bag to see: The remembrance of the past.
People say life goes on, time never stops and blah, blah and more shit, but I was taken back to the past. Before beginning, let me tell you a little bit about myself: I'm that kind of a person who likes to keep things. I'm a keeper, and I keep all sorts of things that are special to me: Be it a chocolate wrapper or  some old used movie tickets. I keep it all and I keep it safe. So coming back, that bag. It contains all the cards, the letters, all the special little things that my dear ones gave me at some point of time in my life.


Yes, time flies! I've been keeping these things safe with me for more than 8 years now, and believe me, for those few minutes, I was taken back to those times, those moments I shared with those special people. Yes, with time, the closeness, the essence of my relations with them have changed: few are busy with their lives and for  few I might have been busy, so blaming anyone should not be right. But I wish we had continued the way we were back then, cause I could feel the love and care in the cards and the letters and the poems and the sketches and in all the other little things which still matter to me as much as they mattered when they were bestowed upon.


No doubt I love the people who are with me right now, but can't I have all of them? (Yes, I'm selfish). As you grow up in life, you realize that not all the people you love and care about, stay forever. In fact, only a handful of people are going to stay with you.  I don't like to break relations (yes, I'm that kind of person), but eventually it does crack a little(or more): be it for lack of communication, some stupid fight and due to the misunderstandings. I was very special to some, (shhona, or petu or best friends to a few) but, now, after  reading those cards I feel 'why?' The bond we shared was very special indeed. Then why? Why is it all not like before? People change, and I might also have changed, but, I cherished those bonds and would always will. I wish we were like before, again.
And this gets me to thinking, are the bonds I have right now would also be gone some day? Maybe 5 years down the line, I would be writing something like this again? I don't know. Maybe some are going to stick around and some wouldn't, that time would tell.
While reading those things I had a tear rolling down my cheek, didn't know if it was a happy tear or a sad one. Happy that I came across these wonderful people in my life and sad that, they are no longer there. But after a few minutes I blasted. (yes, I knew exactly how was feeling then)


Sweet memories, oh that warmth,

Happy hugs and happy songs

Be with me, for once, and again,

Reliving the old good

Before the clock stops,

Remembrance of the past.



Ps. *the sweetest memory of all* This picture you see below, are the cards given by those kids I used to teach in school 4 years back as a part of my curriculum. I was in 12th grade and they were in 4th. Such an amazing experience it was. Love you kiddos and miss our fun. Hope you guys are doing well wherever you are. *heart*





Too many emotions.
The year is ending and December is hitting me hard (as every year). Hyper active tear glands, coffee and winter  doing their way. Suffering from some unknown emotional disease. Bye for now.


Friday, 12 December 2014

First time

For the first time I could feel my heart ache
That hurt when you see your dream break
Into pieces they shatter
And you realise all that would have mattered
The things you should have done
The wheels unturned
For the first time I could see that place
Which was supposed to be mine, has another face.
Those first times,
And for all the first times
Which you shared,
Done and fared
Silently your soul had bared.
When you find your dream
For the very first time
Give your heart and soul
But your equations didn't rhyme.
That hurt, that pain
When you see your dream going away
Or become a little insane
When atlast,
For the first time
You got what you wanted
From a long long time
You feel complete.
Firsts are thrilling
Special and give you a little chilling
Cause the best thing about your first
Is that it is your very first
That is embeded in your soul
Forever.


Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Isn't everybody beautiful?


"You are beautiful"
Don't you love hearing that? Obviously you do! Who doesn't like appreciations!
Well, let me ask you something today. What is beauty according to you?
 Can we really define it? Or we just blindly follow the old concoctions passed down from generations?

Big eyes, white skin, tall and slim? I'm sure many of us see through these and actually refer someone as beautiful based on these few criteria. But is it all you can see? Truly said: 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder'. When it comes to beauty we just consider the outer appearance of an individual. What about the inside? What about that which is going to stay eternal? Your outer self will shed one day my friend, but your inner beauty will stay forever.
Everybody is beautiful in one way or the other;
Be it the simplicity of that soul
Be it the compassion of a mother
Protection of a brother.
Be it innocence of that child,
playing with pure dust in the slum.
Be it determination to do something,
That shear courage,
The spirit of making a change,
Be it the smile after getting the pay check
Or that teenager behaving as a wreck.
Be it the mother dog,
hugging her six little pups,
In the winter cold.
Be it in the believe that
Everything is going to be fine
At the end.


Can you see that little girl, sitting at the corner in her class, afraid to get bullied again? Boys teasing her saying 'chashmish', 'doubble- battery' and what not. She loves to read. What is her fault? Making her feel disgusted won't do any good.

Oh there! See that guy? People call him 'fattie' cause he is over weight. Unfortunately, he has a disease of putting on fat. He loves to eat but doesn't. What's his fault? Making fun of him every second won't do any good to you!

Probably people should realise how much pain they are putting a person through, before making any kind of joke or passing rude comments.
Frankly, we have a problem with everything. Even if there isn't any problem, we will definitely find one.
In-laws searching for "tall and fair-skinned" brides, even if the girl has bright career and an amazing personality. People buying these shitty cosmetic creams like fair 'n' lovely to glow; 'paayie 7 dino mei gorapan' is their lame tag line. All young girls starving to become size 0, which is supposedly the new in-thing! All these celebrities undergoing surgeries for having nicer assets and plumped lips and having the perfect nose, really makes me wonder, why?
We need to accept ourselves the way we are, and be comfortable in our own skin. That's how god has made us: beautiful.
I believe everybody is beautiful, we just have see it the right way.




Monday, 1 December 2014

|| winter stories ||



Starting to post a few shades of winter: My winter stories.




These beauties my mum got from the Indian International Trade Fair.




dulhan: Red




Diyas.




Spotted these at a restaurant




Through the windows of Rapid Metro, gurgaon.